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Ever watched someone walk into a room and light it up? They walk around, smiling and talking to everyone, whether they know them or not. They exude charisma and self-confidence. Developing self-confidence takes work and practice, it takes a hype-squad, accountability partners, and self-growth. Self-confidence takes a lot of effort to build, but it can be destroyed in the blink of an eye.

Here are the top 3 things that can destroy your self-confidence:

1. Your ego. Ego is the evil twin of self-confidence. Inflated ego replaces self-confidence when you exert power over others instead of allowing others to feel empowered by you. Ego also takes the place of self-confidence when you start comparing yourself to others rather than having faith and confidence in what you offer to the world. Ego gives you a narcissistic quality, while self-confidence drives your potential and leadership.

2. Not having boundaries. When you don’t set boundaries for yourself, especially around how you show up for other people, your self-confidence can take a hit. Here’s why: When you don’t learn how to say “NO” to the things that will not move you forward, you’ll end up saying “YES” to everything. Which will mean that you end up taking on more than you can handle. Eventually, the quality of your work will suffer, leading to a decline in the confidence you have in your ability to do your best work.

3. Perfectionism. Trying to be too perfect doesn’t allow for the grace you need when you make mistakes. Perfectionism leads to a lack of self-confidence because it’s impossible to achieve. The perfect version of anything is never attainable. “I struggle with this when we talk about the website,” says Darryl Lovett, Co-Creator and Host of Success in Black and White the Podcast. “I always want the perfect version, but since we’ve started our business three years ago, I’ve redone the website eleven different times. I never think it’s perfect, but instead of allowing it to affect my self-confidence, I just keep editing the website so it keeps getting better.”

Want more of this conversation? Tune in to the episode of the podcast below to hear Darryl & April’s conversation "Level Up Your Confidence Game".

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